What are you trying to tell me?

I am not going to lie.  There are days, so many days, that I wonder about my professional future.  How long can I keep doing what I am doing?  What other jobs are out there for me?  Maybe it is time to do something else.  Am I even making an impact, like I felt like I once was?  

Then these little, subtle reminders keep popping up.

Two months ago at church.  There are a few families that attend the same church as my family.  There are multiple services offered, but often, we see a kid I have had in school or someone in their immediate family.  On this specific day, we were walking through church at the end of the service and a student and myself made eye contact.  He gave me this little smile, from his stoic, church face.  A connection was shared.

A month ago at a drive thru.  We have a few fast food restaurants in town.  On this certain night, I pulled up to the first window, after placing my order.  The young man working the register window looked up at me to collect payment, then he quickly looked down.  I watched him, and a grin came across his face.  He looked back up and told me the total.  I gave him my card and said, thanks (his name).  His smile grew from ear to ear.

This week at a sandwich shop.  As I was approaching the door, I could see a young kid bouncing from foot to foot near a table in the front of the shop, but she was looking straight at me through the door.  I opened the door, she froze.  Then she ran up to me and gave me a huge hug.  Her mom was laughing at the table next to where we were standing.  The child was a student of mine last year, before I moved to another building.  I asked about her teacher, her hair highlights and life.  She was so excited!  I told her she better go eat, and she went to sit down.

I took one step closer to the counter to order and the cashier had a smile on his face.  I thought, he's just wondering when I will finally order after my chat with the former student.  I order sandwiches for the family and then he smiles and says, do you remember me?  I knew it.  Another former student.  I said, "you look familiar, but I can't remember your name." (which kills me!)  He told me his name and I immediately remembered his last name.  I told him, "your last name starts with a W, but I'll say it wrong, how do you say it?"  Like the worker at the drive thru, this young man's face lit up.

As hard as each day is, and as much as I (we) get bogged down in everything that isn't kids, these moments are unforgettable.  I had to write about them, so I don't forget them.  I'm not sure what someone is trying to tell me, but I do know that these interactions with kids are constant reminders that I have to push through hard days.  For them.

Stand Out

I wish there was more time in the day.  I used to spend hours watching sports on tv, and then adult life happened and I lost touch with sports I loved to watch.  This weekend, I was reminded of a few things about sports and life, and being a dad.

When I was in high school, my brother and I started playing tennis for fun at the run down, town court.  We learned from watching professional tennis on tv and slowly, I hope, we improved a little bit.  We learned about the top players in the late 90's by watching them play in grand slams on tv between our pool time and hanging out with friends.

I remember when Venus and Serena Williams started to play on tv.  They were both full of energy and different than the typical tennis player on tour.  As time went by, I continued to watch the sisters, and others play.  I could sit and watch pro tennis all day.  The technique and game play really intrigued me.

Fast forward 25 years.  I watched Serena play in her last (probably) grand slam match this weekend.  The roar of the crowd during the match was incredible.  The energy that filled the stadium could be felt through the tv as I sat and watched, hoping it wouldn't be Serena's last match.  When it was over, and she lost, the ovation Serena Williams received was exactly what I expected.

Serena stood out.  She is likely the best tennis player of all time.  She is human and made mistakes, got angry and lost her temper at times.  She never pretended to be something she was not.  Serena was Serena and wasn't afraid of what people would say.  She didn't try to fit a mold, and to me, that is what makes her one of the greatest.

Before becoming a dad to daughters, I have followed women's sports, and have loved watching.  I hope that my own daughters never try to fit a mold that someone else wants them to fit.  I hope they go for what they want and never let someone tell them they can't.  I hope they set goals that other people think they can't achieve.  I hope they believe they can do anything.

Thank you, Serena, for inspiring people to stand out.

Attitude is Everything

 

When talking about how people perceive others, we often notice the positive or negative demeanor (attitude put forth) quickly.  I preach that having a positive attitude can make such a big impact in your daily life and how you, and the others around you, handle every situation that comes up.  I recently was reminded of this when observing the interactions of a child.

Traveling around as the driver for our children, we are able to observe many different kids (age ranges 5-15) at sporting events.  Some kids are playing on teams, and others are filling the time as their siblings play on teams.  There is a lot to watch and observe!  And in the summer, days get long and hot and kids can become explosive and cranky.

During a hotly contested championship softball game for one of my kids, the rain began to fall hard.  After playing in it for half an inning, the umps finally called a delay.  The teams both retreated to their dugouts for a good 30 minutes.  When the rain slowed and almost stopped, our team emerged from the dugout to music and started doing a dance they often do after games.  Quickly, one player from the other team ran over, observed the dancing for about 20 seconds, then joined in with the group, watching and attempting the figure out how to do the dance.  The player had a huge smile on her face and was eager to learn and join in the fun.  Slowly, other players from the opposing team joined.

A couple minutes later, the umps returned and the opposing coaches called gruffly for his team.  Most players quickly ran to the dugout.  The music had not yet stopped and the lone original player with the huge smile from the opposing team continued to dance with our team.  When the music stopped, she returned to her dugout.

The game resumed, we tied it up, then went ahead.  The opposing coach argued several calls and eventually got tossed.  Parents from the other team also then go tossed for arguing calls.  It quickly got ugly on that one side.  Our team prevailed and the game concluded.

Teams lined up to shake hands and the lone dancer from the opposing team sprinted to be the front of her line.  Although her team had just lost the game and their coach and was the center of a lot of negativity, her smiled prevailed and she started that "good game" handshake line with a positive attitude that resonated through most of her team from her lead.

I don't know anything about this kid, other than what I witnessed during and after the game that day.  But I love her demeanor and outlook on life situations.  I'm sure she was disappointed that her team lost the game, but the way she carried herself was impressive for a pre-teen and I hope she continues to influence those around her, because that is the type of kid that I want my kids around.  Attitude is Everything.

There's Something There

Being a school principal has it's challenges.  Everyday is a battle, sometimes big and sometimes small.  Unless you have walked in the shoes, you really don't know.  While it is exhausting and full of unexpected situations, the connections you can make with kids is indescribable.

A teacher pours their heart and soul into a group of students every year.  On the first day of school, the teacher is very limited in what they know about each child.  Through the year, they begin to learn strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and an understanding of the child.  On the last day of school, teachers wish their students well and they hope the students take with them at least a few things from the year in their classroom.

An administrator (and a few other positions) has a different relationship with students.  This is mainly because they see the student over a number of years.  My experience with students isn't limited to one year.  I am able to learn about kids differently.  Through their classwork, of course, but also through their interactions with others on the playground, in the cafeteria, at the pick up doors and over several years.

This type of relationship is special.  By pouring into kids over a span of multiple years, we invest in the students in all aspects of life.  Living in the community helps too, especially when you catch them off guard at church, the store or in a neighborhood.  I am reminded by our amazing students that you don't have to have a conversation to know what they are thinking.  And most of them know me well enough to know what I am thinking when I make eye contact with them.

As we speed into our final month of school, I want to remind myself of a few things.  Kind words are important to build trust and relationships.  But more than that, actions are the most important.  This week I saw a student outside of school that I haven't talked to recently in school.  We didn't have a conversation when we saw each other, but he looked to me for guidance and acceptance more than once.  This simple thing reminded me that kids look up to us even when we aren't paying attention.  We need to carry ourselves with pride and integrity.  We need to model actions that we hope those looking at us use as examples.  We need to remember that every single interaction is important.

Be the light for a kid.  Be the light for a person.  Be a leader, an example and remember that what you do, makes a difference.

Be There

As we finish up winter break, so many feelings and emotions are swirling in my head.  The pandemic continues, people are stressed, sick and scared.  How can we tackle another semester or even day of school when our heads may not be ready.

Well, as much as I'd like to keep sleeping in and laying in my bed, I have to remember the good work I am part of each day.  We all do.  There are kids and adults counting on us being there at school for them.  So often, we (society) do not tell the people we value and care about the most how important they are to us.  In addition, we also don't give props to people that deserve a pat on the back or positive recognition.

When we walk into our schools and classrooms from winter break, let's focus on the positive.  Let's find the people (kids & adults) that make us smile and happy.  Let's seek out those that build us up.  Let's surround ourselves with influences that make our hard days better.  Let's be there for each other, through it all.

The work we do is hard on a normal day.  It is especially hard in 2022 and in our world of criticism and unknown.  Let's take charge of what we can control and be there for those who need us most.  Relationships are built upon trust, friendship, honesty and positivity.  Be the person that someone else needs.  Be the person that lights up a room.  Be the person that makes someone smile.  Be there to help us all through it.  Be there for each other.